Just keep moving along. Everything here is a lie.
Spring lurks in the distance and my teeth are hurting again. I'm sleeping better than usual these days, yet I'm drinking more water before I go to bed. I've gotten into the habit of peeing with the bathroom door open in the middle of the night in case a centipede should start chasing me. I need a place to escape.
The pillow doesn't quite comfort my head any longer, and I do the only thing I know to do to make my outside feelings match the ones swirling around my brain. I'll try my hardest to refrain from the usual items I seek solace in, but it won't be long before I have a pack of smokes, a drink, and maybe a couple of pills in front of me. Quite frankly, I disgust myself.
Complacency is so rampant in my life, and the longing for change never seems to subside. I'm sick of pretending that things are just fine. How are you doing today?
Winter holidays are so far away and I'm mad at SPRING for waking me up with the sunlight shining through my curtains. I was certain I had covered up all the places where the sun could shine through. The breeze from the fan is comforting, but I don't see how that's any damn different than the cold in the winter time. These days in this year feel like I'm not ready for anything at all.
Accepting these days seems hard enough, but as much as I try to quell these unjustified thoughts, suddenly I'm lost once more. Fraudulently wandering the streets of my city, I wish someone would just grab my shoulders and shake me and beg me to wake up.
I tried to shake myself awake, but I was still in a dream.
No comments:
Post a Comment