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What happens when you've convinced yourself that you should feel guilty for feeling the way that you do?
What happens when your own self has justified condemning you for feeling abandoned?
For feeling hurt?
For wondering why?

What about the mornings where you know that everything turned out just fine and really, you should be so god damn thankful for what your life became, but you can't help wondering what could have possibly been so horrible about yourself.
Because you caused it.

For whatever reason, it is all because of you.
Yet, you feel guilty but you have no right to be.
You have questions that will never be answered.
You have a place in your heart that will never let go.
That will never really be able to fully understand why.
You are not deserving of the feeling guilt. Not when things turned out so perfectly.
You shouldn't even ask why.
You should be thankful.
And never look back.

What happens when you look back...
Why keep going to that place... That place you hate to visit, that you hate to see.
Where the guilt drives you to ask
The things you'll never understand
The things that dance around your mind when all the lights are off.
The unanswered questions that feed the guilt and rip your mind to billions of pieces.
The guilt that makes you scream for no reason at all.

The place you just shouldn't have gone.